And the Lord and his girlfriend looked upon the face of the apartment, and it was dark; for he did not have keys yet. So the Lord called upon the apartment leasing maiden, who let them in.
And the Lord said, “let there be light!” And the apartment maiden flipped a switch, and there was track lighting. And he saw that it was good.
And there was great rejoicing among the multitude; for the lease was signed on the first day after the full moon, and moving begins in half a fortnight.
Then the Lord said to his girlfriend, “Let us visit the hot tub, then go out for tapas and wine”. And they did, and it was good.